The school year is officially underway! There is so much to do day to day and so much to remember. It can be overwhelming! Personally as a teacher I am very forgetful throughout the day because there is so much to remember to do. The best way to relieve some of this brain space is to foster independence in my students. My students love to complete a routine, help out, and remind me of things that need to get done (they have a better memory than I do). Children will surprise you. Children are much more capable than you think. If you give them the time to try on their own without interfering they can be incredibly independent. If they fail, they are in a safe space and can build resilience.
Fostering independence in your child is key because soon they will need to make decisions and complete tasks on their own without support. It is beneficial to foster that independence young. Even more importantly it increases their confidence, motivation, and they can safely learn to become resilient and experience failure. If your child makes a mistake, you can reflect on it with them and see what can be done differently next time. Remember to let your child try and let your child fail. Remind them that you are there to help, but you believe in their ability to do it on their own.
During conferences, parents are always asking me how they can have an independent child at home. Here are some tips you can use at home to foster independence in your kiddo and maybe take some things off of your parent plate.
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1. Have a night time routine your child can do independently
When students enter my classroom there is a visual list on the board of what they need to do. This includes unpacking, putting their folder away, turning in notes, and grabbing their book box next to their desk. After a few days of practice the students are able to do this completely independently. You can do the same at home for a night time routine. Create a visual checklist (words and pictures) of what needs to be done for bedtime. Make sure your child knows how to do each of the items on the list independently. You can handwrite or print the list and put it somewhere convenient (like their bedroom) or you can get a dry erase pocket like this one they can check off. They should be things the child is used to and that you have explicitly practiced with them. This can include putting pajamas on, brushing teeth, having a drink of water, and picking out a bedtime story. Practice the routine with your child by just guiding them and let them be in charge. Soon enough your child will be ready to do it independently!
2. Provide child safe scissors for independent snack opening
Those fruit snack pouches always seem to be super glued together. Grab some child safe scissors and keep them in a place your child can reach. Any time you give them a snack that they cannot open, they can use the scissors to open it themselves. Helpful hint: put a pair in your child’s lunch bag so they can do the same thing at school.
3. Provide choices whenever possible
Choices are beneficial for more than just independence. They also allow children to feel like they have some control over their life. Children are also more likely to do something if they have a choice. Start giving your child choices often even if it is for the simple things. Would you like carrots or peas with dinner? Do you want to do your reading first or your math worksheet first? Should we read Click Clack Moo or Corduroy tonight? Offering choices will help your child gain some independence and understand an important step in growing up
4. Give your child a “job”
Children love to be given a job and feel important. In the classroom it is jobs like line leader, paper passer, and messenger. When children have a job they can be independent and feel like they are important in the function of the classroom (plus it is great preparation for the real world). You can do the same thing at home. You can give them a daily or weekly job like feeding the cat or watering the plants. You can also give them an in the moment task like help setting the table or cleaning up the dog’s toys that are on the floor. Jobs are also great ways for children with high energy to get some energy out in a productive way.
Try fostering independence in your child this school year! Remember to let your child try and let your child fail. Remind them that you are there to help, but you believe in their ability to do it on their own. Your child will shock you with what they can do without help. Let me know how it goes in the comments below.